What’s the best way to ask for Pronouns?

Asking someone’s pronouns might seem like a confusing thing to do. Can’t you just assume which ones a person uses? What’s the harm in using the wrong pronouns anyway?

The best way to get used to asking someone’s pronouns is to simply practice doing it. Part of the reason so many of us are uncomfortable asking this question is that we really don’t understand how to, so the more we practice at asking pronouns the more comfortable we’ll get. The goal is to get everyone more comfortable and to normalize asking. It’s an awesome and really easy way to make people feel comfortable and respected.

Turns out, asking someone’s pronouns is as easy as “Hi friend, what are your pronouns?” If you can provide yours first, even better! “Hi friend, my name is Wyatt and my pronouns are He/Him. What are yours?”

Well, what if I mess up someone’s pronouns?

Don’t worry, people mess up all the time. The important thing is to correct yourself and keep trying. It’s as easy as “I went to the movies with her, I mean with him,” or “That’s his, I’m sorry, their jacket.”

When we make mistakes it’s natural to want to apologize and try to explain how you’re trying but it’s hard for you. It’s important we try not to do this though. It can make the person you’re talking to feel uncomfortable and like they need to comfort you when really you’re the one trying to be more supportive of them. Better to just correct yourself and move on.

Does it really matter if I get this right?

Absolutely! Respecting people’s correct pronouns can help drastically improve mental health by nearly 80% and drop suicide rates by 10%. Plus, you get the absolute pleasure of being an even better friend and ally to the LGBTQ community.

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